Something to Complain About

In my efforts to avoid unnecessary arguments with the people in my life, I have decided to no longer engage them in their negativity or indulge them or encourage them in their constant nitpicking, complaining and whining. There always seems to be those few people that find a problem with every situation or who can’t help but point out the fault in something, no matter what it is. This drives me crazy, thus this is a complaint about those who constantly complain.

I used to debate these people, try to get them see things in a different light, I have even gone along with them hoping that my lack of resistance would  prove boring to them and they would see how silly we really sounded crying over nothing together. But alas, misery loves company so none of my ploys seemed to work.

So now I am keeping my opinions to myself while I bristle in silence and save my feelings for my special place, my blog. No amount of breath expended is going to change a complainer’s ways. They have to see it for themselves. And besides, why should any of us waste our breath on them anyway, we may need those breaths one day.

So having said all that, I commence to complain about the complainers and hating on the haters.

The other day, like many other people, I am watching the Michael Jackson memorial service. I decide it would be cool to watch it with my friends on Facebook since most of us have known each other since childhood, during the time when all of our musical sensibilities were being molded and shaped by the King of Pop before he earned the title. We were all logged on posting our updates and generally watching respectfully together, when the complainers started. It was ridiculous.

First one friend posted:

“I know i am going to get flack for this but wtf 4 million we as tax payer in Los Angeles to pay for a service, for this cat that got money his family got cash too. and i cant get in the service without a wrist band.My mom ment a whole lot more to me them him and i would not let yall pay for her so he can moonwalk his self over and kiss my black never mind.”

Okay, even if you agree with these sentiments, couldn’t it have waited until after the ceremony. The funny part about this statement, when I chose to ignore his update, and posted my own update, which was the beginning lyrics to “Man in the Mirror” this friend then commented on my page and asked me if I read his update. Apparently he was very proud of his negative comments.

I replied, “i read it…not feelin it…but its your page…and you’re entitled to feel that way…we’re all different, you know.”

To which he replied, “yes but why do we have to pay for this most (SIC) folks would not had wanted it it they knew we had to payfor. (SIC) the shut off a freeway so over 300 of his friends and family can go to a private service we paid for that. thats what i am talking about.”

So not only was he complaining but he was dragging me into his madness and I didn’t want to be there.  So I told him that he could be as mad as he wanted to be, but to let me watch the memorial.

He said, “Ok!”

I believe he was rather reluctant.

Then, when the service actually started, another friend complained that things seemed disorganized.

So I guess the fact that this whole thing was planned in a few days and that thousands of people were descending upon downtown Los Angeles  en masse, were really just factors to deal with and any ordinary person…like herself…could just pull the whole thing off without a hitch. NOT!!!!

She then went on to say how there should have been a huge processional with a horse and carriage like they had for The Notorious B.I.G and Aaliyah.

Wow, one person complaining that we are spending too much money and now another one saying it is not enough.

She went on and on and on…so I blocked her.

In fact, I blocked at least five people.

And then, as if that wasn’t enough. Another friend who didn’t get the opportunity to watch along with everyone else caught up with the rest of us by watching it later. Hours later, after we had all cried and laughed and were generally spent. And she had the nerve to post this:

“Okay is it just me or did Michael’s daughter seem like she was acting…sorry”

Seriously! Have we really become that cynical?

Several people responded to her both in agreement and disagreement. I noticed that a few who agreed are pretty cynical and complain a lot as well. I guess what they say is true, “birds of a feather….” you know the rest. But there were just as many who tried to appeal to her and get her to see it differently. I did not respond either way.

The way I see it, the people who feel these things and say these things are definitely entitled to their opinions. And we all have seen things in life that don’t necessarily jive with our spirits or seem authentic. But with these particular people, and many others, I have noticed a definite pattern, and I don’t have any desire to be part of the repeat.

I am all for keeping it real, but my mother always pointed out two valuable lessons to me. There is a time and place for everything and if you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all. Of course have modified the last one because I believe people should be able to express themselves, but it is still all in the way you say it. Anything can be said in a way that doesn’t hurt people are tear things down. But most people are not skilled in that subtle art. Perhaps it is something that can be taught when children are young. It would certainly alleviate a lot of conflict.

In any case, when you think about it, what purpose does it serve to broadcast negativity and always focus on the bad? I don’t know about you, but I don’t need those kind of people in my life. I want to be a giver to the world, not a taker. When you focus on the negative, you ultimately receive negativity in return.